March Madness Update

So Duke hasn’t played yet (insert your boos here), but here’s a recap of the games so far.

UVA Tops UNC Wilmington

I don’t get why everyone was so surprised to be honest. While UVA struggles, they still are a solid team with talent on the floor and on the bench. UNC Wilmington was beating Duke at halftime last year. This is where people get overhyped about them. However, I watched the game last year, and I can guarantee Duke was not playing that well and was conserving energy with their small, six man team. They were never going to lose that game. But I will give them credit, they are a solid twelve seed team. And the game was close.

Florida Beats ETSU

Ahhh, the upset to the upset. A lot of people expected all Florida teams to be eliminated in round one. However, they just weren’t skilled enough. ETSU really cannot make shots. They missed their drives and their close up shots from rebounds. It was unacceptable. If they wanted to win, ETSU needed some threes. Florida is good at defending the rim. They are similar to UNC in the sense that Florida can only be beaten behind the arc. They are warriors in the paint. Seeing ETSU lose was downright disappointing, especially after Florida pulled their classless “potty shot” free throw stunt. What trash. Can’t wait for them to get eliminated next round.

Gonzaga Skrts South Dakota St.

I know we’re all thinking the same thing… Gonzaga, what the f***. They were down the whole first half and I saw my bracket’s life flash before my very eyes. I’m guessing they were just chilling and saving their energy for future rounds. They got it together by the end, so I wouldn’t worry if you have them going far.

Northwestern GETS THERE FIRST WIN IN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT EVER 

Virginia right now: “Yeah we lost to a team that’s never been here before, don’t @ us.”

This is some dope history we’re witnessing. Northwestern just dove into March Madness, and proved to the world they’ll be back. How cute is it that they’ll be able to say they got their first tournament will when they go home after next game! I’m excited for them. Vanderbuilt just wasn’t good enough, end of story. Their energy, their talent, and their intensity was no match for Northwestern’s. I was also watching a life stream on my phone during class, so maybe they had stretches of good and bad.

Notre Dame Proves They Suck (But Not as Bad as Princeton)

I don’t know what I expected. I really don’t. I needed Notre Dame to win for my bracket, and they barely were able to pull it off. Now I know they have no real talent, but still, it’s Princeton! Princeton. An Ivy League. Cmon now. Two points, really? I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but I honestly thought they were better. I guess this is what I get for calling a one a two.

West Virginia’s Still Irrelevant

Who cares about West Virgina? They were good like thirty years ago (way before my time), but you never hear about them now. But, regardless, they won. Another pointless mash-up guessed wrong. But that’s March Madness for you. Yeet.

Mid Tennessee Saves Everyone’s Brackets

Thank you MT. All faith in upsets is restored. Now here’s the twelve five mash-up everyone wanted. And Tennessee rocked it. They played with so much heart, never did I ever think Minnesota was winning. As soon as their good player went to the bench, it was all MT all day (second half). Impressive.

Butler Tops Winthrop

Not much to say here. Standard outcome. I have Butler destroying Mid Tennessee the Eighteenth and then ultimately losing to the most illiterate team in the tournament. Best of luck, may the odds be ever in their favor.

Duke plays tomorrow at 7:20. And March Madness is the best holiday. It’s the most wonderful time of the year/

Notre Dame is Notre Dame, never forget that.

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Duke’s Cinderella Story

… We’re ACC Tournament Champs. Wow. What happened? Duke came back from deficit in their four wins in order to secure an ACC title. There was a point in the Notre Dame game where I almost changed the channel. Duke was getting destroyed with steals to fast breaks to layups. I was already drafting a bitter roast article where I’d compare Vasturia’s face to the face of a child who stole a cookie from the cookie jar when their mommy wasn’t looking. But there’s no need for that now, since Duke came back. So let’s talk.

Seeing Matt Jones make that huge three in the end to secure the win was unbelievable. I was beyond thrilled, and so was everyone in that stadium. It’s never Matt. Matt never gets the big plays. No one passes it to Matt to make the big shot. Usually, Matt’s on the bench by the end. But he got it this time. What a great senior moment. You can’t help but flash back to all of the great but unspoken things Matt has done for this team. He’s been a leader since sophomore year, not by play but by attitude. Matt is the grounding spirit of the team, and always has wise words to give to his teammates. He also stepped up sophomore year after Rasheed Sulaimon was booted out. Matt’s the gravity that holds the team together, and it was nice to see him get to be the big star for once.

Duke may have clinched a one seed in the NCAA tournament. It’s unheard of, but many sources see it as a legitimate possibility. They’ve beaten UNC two out of three times. They’re also title holders in the ACC. Duke’s showing promise, and there’s no doubt that the NCAA has taken note of that. Duke’s stock is soaring after the last four games. They are shaking up college basketball. Duke could be the first eight loss team to earn a No. 1 seed. Success is looking inevitable for the Blue Devils.

However, did Duke’s conference win ruin their chances for the National Title? Let’s look back at the curse of the conference over the years. Last year, it was UNC vs Villanova in the finals. UNC was the ACC tournament champion, while Villanova had lost to Seton Hall in the Big East tournament. Villanova ended up winning. And the year before that, it was Duke vs Wisconsin in the NCAA championship. Duke had lost to Notre Dame in the ACC semifinals, while Wisconsin had won the Big Ten tournament. It’s basically a curse. If you win your conference, you don’t win the national title. However, Duke’s been breaking records and standards all season. I wouldn’t put an NCAA championship out of the question for them.

Notre Dame aka the leprechauns wore the same jerseys two times in a row for good luck and still lost, never forget that.

So Duke Lost to UNC. But Were We Really the Big Losers Last Night?

It’s true, last night the Tarheels beat Duke. Point one for Satan. However, was Duke really the big loser? Every time UNC plays Duke they expose themselves to the world. They’re no winners. When it comes down to it, UNC chokes every time they meet the Blue Devils. Remember how they lost to Duke earlier this year in Cameron Indoor? Yeah, they lost to the team that lost to NC State, and UNC destroyed NC State. UNC also lost to Virginia, a team that Duke beat pretty easily. It’s basically been proven that UNC can only barely scrape by when playing Duke. Their defense sucks, and Duke is almost always given the chance to counter back with a 2 or 3. That’s another thing, UNC can drive like nobody’s business, but when playing a team with range, they need to learn how to get more looks outside the perimeter. UNC is a pretty solid team, but every time they play Duke they prove to the world that they will never be good enough. UNC is not going to win the national championship. They’re too flawed. So I really feel like the took the L tonight. UNC U N Sucks.

The second loser that comes to mind is Notre Dame. This game really sucked for them. Along with having all of their players and fans bear an unfortunate resemblance to leprechauns, Notre Dame also has the unfortunance of being tied for 2nd in the ACC now. Second is the first to lose. They must really be beating themselves up right now. Remember when they went through that four game losing streak? Duke, Georgia Tech, Virginia, UNC? I’m surprised anyone stuck around to watch them after that… And they didn’t just lose to Duke, they lost to Jeff Capel. Enough said. So maybe the Fighting Irish were the real losers of the game. And now all their poor fans have to go to work on Monday and stand there in front of everyone like they aren’t big losers.

Roy Williams has a dab video that actually makes you wonder if living in a world like this is actually worth it anymore, never forget that.